Today, I wanted to write a whole article about the resurrection stories throughout time. I love how the tales of the Sumerian goddess Ereshkigal and her sister Inanna – two of my favorite figures in religious history – and how their story became Hecate and Persephone to the Greeks, then Lilith and Eve to the Jews, and even was incorporated into stories of Jesus’s resurrection.

I wanted to geek out over the history of magical myths and how religious tales help us to make sense of a complex and hard world.

But then I sat down to write and all I could think about was the Voladores of Veracruz.

I kept remembering the way they surrendered to the ritual, having patience for the process, going around and around and around again all in a beautiful dance to their gods.

And how much that inspired me to keep going, both as an artist and as a human.

So, instead of my nerdy history lesson, I’m giving you an excerpt from a book I am writing about my time in Mexico City.

I hope you find magic in it like I did.

With love,

Lauren

P.S. This is what it looks like to live a boldly creative life. Not just the travel to Mexico, but also following what calls to you even when the "strategic" thing is something else entirely.

If you want help building that kind of life for yourself, I have four spots left in my Creative Life Blueprint program. We start April 17. Reply to this email if you want in.

Live a Boldly Creative Life

P.P.S. While my Sunday letters are usually free, this book is a work in progress and I can’t yet share it publicly for the whole internet to see, so I’m putting the excerpt behind a paywall. Thanks for understanding and supporting my work.

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The world is on fire.

Creativity is the fire hose.

In 2012, my brother died. The aftermath sent me spiraling down and I hit rock bottom. Hard.

As I sat there, unsure what to do next, one question kept coming to me: what do I want said at my funeral about how I lived my life?

I got out a piece of paper and some colorful pens and wrote down the answer.

Knowing I was in a rough place and needed some dopamine, a friend had shipped me stickers to give myself when I did a good job. So I decorated that piece of paper with stickers.

And my Creative Life Blueprint was born.

Since then, it has become the framework behind every decision I’ve made — from launching my business to promoting my hit novel to dating new people.

It gives me a North Star to follow as I navigate the seas of life, and I’m not sure where I’d be without it.

Over the past year, I’ve shared it privately with friends and they found it so life-changing that I decided to share it in a post here on Substack.

Did you read that post?

Over 1,000 of you did. The comments were small but the emails were huge. People wrote saying it gave them hope they too could live a boldly creative life.

I was going to write it as a book. But as I responded to those messages, an idea kept sprouting:

What if I gathered a small group of people together to go through the Creative Life Blueprint process?

That idea kept growing — fueled by every message from readers and every voice note from a friend about how desperately they need more creativity in their life right now.

So, %#$! it. I’m offering this as a program.

Seven weeks. Six people. One time.

Which is all so damn scary.

As I talk about in this week’s Come With Me video, it’s nerve-wracking to launch something new into the world — and even more so knowing I’m only doing it once.

But I only ran a marathon once. I only lived in Italy and the Czech Republic once. I only traditionally published a novel once.

I might do them all again. But there is only ever that one first time.

There is only ever this one life.

We might as well make it a boldly creative one.

➡️ If you want in, reply to this email and I’ll send you the details.

And while I’d love to coach you through it, the full process is free for everyone here.

Because the world needs your story (and creativity and art and joy) now more than ever.

With love and art,

Lauren

P.S. I only have 6 spots, so if you want one, reply now. We start April 17.

P.P.S. My Come With Me videos are usually for paid subscribers only, but I'm making this one free so you can hear more about the Creative Life Blueprint process.

Recently, I took an acting class and the teacher gave me this note:

You use joy as armor.

And damn, if that wasn’t completely spot on for how I’m dealing with the world right now.

To be openly gay in the face of fascism is a radical act.

If you think calling the Trump administration “fascism” feel hyperbolic, might I suggest reading this.

The America that the alt-right MAGA lovers long for is the one I sadly grew up in – and not one I’m keen to return to.

• Boys Don’t Cry and the Matthew Shephard story taught me that people could beat me to death and get away with it.

• Stories about LGBTQ characters barely existed and when they did they centered on our trauma and pain.

• Churches and youth prayer groups at my high school framed LGBTQ people like me as sexual predators who deserved the violence they got.

• I came out before there were drugs for HIV, volunteered weekly at the SF AIDS Foundation in college, and was raised by gay bears telling me stories of horrific loss.

With that discourse all around me, it could have been easy to believe that being gay was lonely, miserable, and even deadly.

In reality, being openly queer has proven to be a joyful, loving, and affirming existence.

While LGBTQ people have faced and still face horrific oppression around the world – even in safe havens like California – overall we are a community rooted in joy.

Gay literally means lighthearted and carefree – and we take that word seriously.

There is a Dan Savage quote making its way around the internet right now that I come back to again and again:

“During the darkest days of the AIDS crisis, we buried our friends in the morning, we protested in the afternoon, and we danced all night.”

That is what it means to be gay.

Gay resilience has always centered love and pleasure.

Gay people have always found a way to dance through our grief.

Gay power has always existed in the combination of our collective activism and our communal joy.

Joy has always been our armor.

As a community, at least.

Personally, I used anger for way too long. Spite, bitterness, jealousy, cruelty, I wore those like badges of honor guarding my heart.

But every time I danced to Robyn on a crowded dance floor or sang my heart out at a Tegan and Sara concert, I remembered that there is nothing more radical than open expressions of queer joy and love.

We’ve had joy as armor longer than we’ve had legal protections.

I came out at twelve, but…

• I was twenty years old and living in Italy when the U.S. Supreme Court decided Lawrence v. Texas – the landmark case that rule anti-sodomy laws aimed at criminalizing gay people as unconstitutional.

• I was twenty-seven years old and in law school when I interned at the National Center for LGBTQ Rights and helped do research for Obergefell v. Hodges – the landmark case that challenge California’s Prop 8 banning same sex marriage.

• I was thirty-three when Obergefell v. Hodges declared a fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples.

At forty-three, I’m going to fight my ass off to keep these legal protections for my community, but I’m not going to let the courts decide my right to exist.

I’m going to keep kissing girls and enbies.

I’m going to keep affirming trans and non-binary existences.

I’m going to keep attending BDSM events.

I’m going to keep fucking with gender norms and using xe/xir pronouns.

I’m going to keep asking cute queers to dance with me.

And the more the world is on fire, the sexier, kinkier, and more joyful I’m going to get.

As things get worse and worse in my country, all I want to do is get more and more gay.

In every sense of the word.

I want to laugh more.

I want to dance more.

I want to travel more.

I want to be sexier and kinkier and write all about it.

I want to go on more dates.

I want to feel more love.

I want to feel more gratitude.

I want to feel more joy.

And yes, all of that is my armor.

But it is also my truth.

Because when we lose the love and we lose the joy then we lose the battle.

And I refuse to let those hateful fuckers win.

With joy in the face of it all,

Lauren

P.S. While joy is wonderful, it’s also not enough. If you need legal support, or have energy to support LGBTQ causes right now, check out the National Center for LGBTQ Rights. I know their work intimately and can vouch for how important and powerful it is.

Dear friend,

My buddy — the poet who mails letters to her Substack subscribers — asked me recently what journals I use and whether I keep different ones for different projects.

I was about to just reply to her directly.

Then I thought: why don’t I invite you along as well?

In this video I walk you through my actual journaling practice — the notebooks, the planner, the iPad app, the whole thing. But more than the tools, I talk about the one shift that made me a real journaler after years of thinking I was doing it wrong.

Spoiler: I had to let go of the idea that there is a right and wrong way to journal.

The full video is for paid subscribers. If you’re not one yet, now’s a great time to join.

I hope this inspired you to let go of perfection, stop waiting for the “right” notebook, and simply jot your ideas down in whatever way makes you happy.

With tea, a pen, a notebook, and hope,

Lauren

P.S. Looking for inspiration to get your journaling practice started? Check out this post with 13 Journaling Prompts to Help Bring Light Into Your Life.

Journals, tools, and people mentioned in this video:

• and her Substack Brackish, which sends poetry mailers to paid subscribers!

• GoodNotes App for iPad

• Passion Planner – my favorite physical planner

• Decomposition Books – their spiral bound, college rule notebooks are my favorite to use

  • Here’s the kittens in space one I showed

  • Here’s the fairy tale forest one I showed

  • The above notebook links are affiliate links for Amazon, but you can get them at a local bookstore usually, which I highly recommend!

• My course Journal Through It: From “Oh $#@!” to “I’ve got this!” in 15 Minutes is free right now with code LOVE.

  Get More Journaling Support

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Spring has officially sprung in the Northern Hemisphere, and I celebrated the equinox by having a picnic with my friends and napping in the park with Albee.

Did you celebrate?

Let me know in the comments.

Leave a comment

About a decade ago I realized that I cannot go-go-go all year long.

Just like nature has its seasons, so do we.

Fall and winter are for thinking.

That’s when I deep dive into myself. It’s a time for creative exploration, one-on-one chats with friends, solo trips to foreign countries, early bedtimes, and drinking tea while I make it through my TBR list.

Fall is a great time to grieve. Winter is a great time to rest.

Spring and summer are for doing.

That’s when I step out into the light. It’s a time for late night dance parties, promoting creative projects, group picnics in the park, traveling with friends, and sipping mocktails on my patio while I write books and scripts.

Spring is a great time to be horny for life. Summer is a great time to fall in love with the world around you.

One is dark and introspective. One is light and extroverted. Both are equally important to living a boldly creative life.

I used to fight these seasons, and now I embrace them.

Sure, there are things that need to get done all year round. Laundry. Paying bills. Feeding yourself. Fighting fascism.

But when I plan out my life (using this system I shared with you), I make sure to honor that my energy and needs are different in each season.

In honor of Spring, I’ve put together some journaling prompts for you!

Please, for the love of all things creative, do not try to do every single one of these journaling prompts. Simply skim through this list and see which one calls to you and spend some time writing about it.

Just 15 minutes a day has been proven to reduce depression as much as meditation and even, in some people, as much as antidepressant medication.

The biggest thing I see keeping people back from journaling is thinking that they need to do it perfectly or they need to do it for a long period of time or every single day.

If you take even five minutes right now to think through one of these questions, you will be better set to have the kind of spring and summer that awakens your life.

Ready?

Let’s go!

13 Journaling Prompts to Help Bring Light Into Your Life

1. What is one creative project, just one, that I would love to accomplish between now and September 1st?

2. What’s holding me back from falling even deeper in love – with someone else, with myself, with creativity, with life? (more on that here)

3. What did I grieve this fall? What did I release and let go of?

4. Did this winter rejuvenate me or deplete me? What energy level do I have going into spring?

5. Make a Need, Want, Can’t List.

   1. In the Need column, write down everything that is an absolute must for you this spring and summer.

   2. In the can’t column, put down everything that you will not put up with this spring and summer and everything that you just can’t take on during this season.

   3. In the Want column, put all the things that would be fun to do over the next six months, but that are not necessary.

   4. Put your list somewhere where you can look at it every day to remind yourself of your aligned priorities.

6. If I could pick one area in my life where I want to be braver in this season, where would that be?

7. What feels rejuvenating for me right now?

8. Think about where you want to be two years from now on the equinox. Write a letter to yourself now from that person. (more on your Two Year North Star here)

9. Write a letter to your future self and send it. I love Future Me for this.

10. Is there a dream – big or small – that you’ve wanted to pursue that you’ve put off for too long?

11. How can you get even sexier and kinkier this spring? (more on that here)

12. What does activism look like to me during this season? (more on being a reluctant activist here)

13. How can I use this season to be even more creative, witchy, and joyful?

Want more journaling support? Check out my course Journal Through It: From “Oh $#@!” to “I’ve got this!” in 15 Minutes.

Get it free for a limited time with code LOVE.

You have your prompts, now go journal!

Then, come back here and let me know:

• Do you find your life to be cyclical and seasonal?

• How does spring energy differ from fall energy for you?

• Which prompt called to you? How did it go writing it?

Let me know in the comments!

Leave a comment

I’m excited to hear how your spring plays out.

With love, light, and a fan because it’s already getting hot in SoCal!

Lauren

P.S. Are you a paid subscriber? If so, I’ve got 7 more prompts below for you!

If not, now is a great time to join.

Subscribe now

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I had a full meltdown today trying to use QuickBooks.

Like, cried-in-the-park, called-a-friend-sobbing, questioned-my-entire-worth meltdown.

I’m a person with a book in airports across the country. A successful company. Films in progress. I have both objective, subjective success!

And yet — one confusing piece of software and suddenly I’m asking:

If I can’t figure out QuickBooks, how can I run a business?

If I can’t run a business, how can I make money?

If I can’t make money, what value do I have in this world?

That last one took me out and made me cry even harder.

I thought – if this is something happening in my brain, it’s probably happening in my readers brains as well. So I made you a video.

In it, I talk about art, money, capitalism, and what it actually means to keep living a boldly creative life, even when the world is on fire around you.

I say the world needs our stories now more than ever because it’s true.

As capitalism and fascism both rise in power, we need to surround ourselves even more with art and artists.

Subscribing to my Substack is a great place to start. I’ve got plenty of free and paid inspiration for you on here.

Subscribe now

If you want lovely poetry and inspiration sent to your inbox, you should subscribe to my friend ’s Substack Brackish.

15/10 suggest becoming a paid subscriber of hers so you can get poetry and art in the mail. It’s so lovely in these hard times to get letters from Katie.

You can do that here:

Brackish

Hello, you! I’m Katie—welcome to Brackish. This is where I share spoken word poetry as well as my podcast of the same name. Join me to receive nature-inspired poetry in your inbox and on your doormat – yes, actual snail mail!

By Katie Treggiden

I’d love to know — how have you been?

For those in the USA, are you surviving tax season?

For everyone everywhere, I’d love to know what art you’re making or consuming right now.

Let me know in the comments.

Leave a comment

With love and art,

Lauren

P.S. My accountant and friend Erica Martinez helped me to figure out my QuickBooks. Saved the day!

Erica and I have worked on two books together and I highly suggest both of them! One is a primer for taxes which I use as a guidebook in my business and the other is an adorable book helping explain taxes to kids.

And the kids book is wonderfully artistic with illustrations from Yuki Okada.

Check them out below:

Taxes 101 for Entrepreneurs: How to reduce your tax burden, stay in compliance, and keep money in your bank account

What Are Taxes?: A Fun Introduction to Money Concepts for Kids

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I had a gut-wrenching, snot-filled, on-the-floor cry after my TV comedy writing class on Tuesday.

And no, it wasn’t because I got to watch Tom Kinney, the man who voices SpongeBob Squarepants, perform the character in real time – although that was quite impressive and inspiring to see.

I was bawling my eyes out because of what Jill Talley, actor famous for the voice of Karen Plankton, and Carol Rosenthal, sketch comedian turned casting director, shared about their experiences in the industry.

Especially how it was in the 90’s and 00’s – the time period when I tried to start my film career.

The offensive jokes you were expected to laugh at.

The grin and bear it attitude towards misogyny.

The pressure to be rail thin and gorgeous while simultaneously funny and approachable.

The expectation to turn a blind eye when you saw something horrible happen.

The being told it was your fault when you rocked the boat and lost a job.

And while they didn’t mention all of this, the toxicity of the industry was there, simmering under every anecdote and experience.

For decades, I beat myself up for not being brave enough to try to make it in Hollywood.

As I dive back into filmmaking, I keep wondering where my career would be if I’d just had the balls to move to Los Angeles like my male classmates did.

I keep seeing this as a me problem. Something I did wrong.

I blame myself for not “making it” in Hollywood, ignoring the fact that:

• I was continuously told – in high school, film school and after graduation – that “Hollywood will be horrible to someone like you,” or “L.A. is so mean to fat girls, you don’t want to live there,” or “you really can’t be out as a lesbian in Hollywood.”

• I was the only girl in most of my film school classes. I remember being encouraged away from directing my own films and towards critiquing the films others made. Every boy I knew went into directing.

• We rarely, if ever, saw films with women directors, producers, or cinematographers. When women were onscreen in the films we studied, it was almost exclusively as the object of male desire.

• Even though I studied in San Francisco, I only recall being shown one film with LGBTQ characters – and it was a Western that completely negated and erased both the queer and trans identity of a real life historical figure. When I said that in my critique, the male professor brushed me off.

• I was routinely warned about the dangers for women in the industry, and told to never be alone in a room with a male producer. These warnings were taught with the curriculum, alongside “never leave your camera unattended on a busy street or you might be robbed.” You were just asking for it if you did.

And the list goes on and on and on.

So much of it I brushed off or even forgot about – until I hear other women talk about how horrible the industry was at that time.

Then it all comes flooding back.

And with it, tears for my younger self who overcame so much to get to where she is today.

I’m learning to go from shaming my younger self to being so damn proud of her.

Of course, I didn’t feel safe applying to the production intern jobs my male colleagues got in Los Angeles.

Of course, I went and interned at a lesbian magazine in San Francisco instead.

It wasn’t cowardice – it was self-preservation.

If I was a coward, I wouldn’t have:

• left my small, conservative farming town to move to San Francisco,

• studied Italian film for a year in Firenze,

• worked abroad in the Czech Republic,

• travelled around Eastern Ukraine,

• worked as a nude model for art classes,

• moved to Oregon to get a law degree,

• ran a lesbian sex blog while in law school,

• spoken at Yale about queer porn,

• started my own company,

• or persevered for years to get a traditional publishing book deal.

All of that took bravery.

All of that was me living a boldly creative life as far from the misogynistic, homophobic, fatphobic, and problematic AF world of Hollywood.

I didn’t give up on my dreams – I found a safer path to accomplish them.

During my last year of undergrad, I was in masters-level screenwriting classes and truly excelling. My professor pulled me aside and talked to me about pursuing a career in the industry.

He warned me that, unfortunately, screenwriters were often treated horribly in the industry (see a pattern here?).

But, there was a loophole he said:

“Write a novel.”

He showed the class Dances with Wolves and told us the story about how the creator, Michael Blake, originally wrote it as a spec script, but no one would buy it.

So, Kevin Costner told him to turn it into a novel.

With the novel and the script, the two of them were able to get funding to make the film – which Costner starred in and it was his directorial debut.

The film went on to win 7 of the 12 Oscars it was nominated for, including a best adapted screenplay win for Michale Blake, a Best Director win for Kevin Costner, and best picture. It’s also considered a leading influence for the revitalization of the Western.

And he never would have been able to get the movie made if he hadn’t written the novel first.

“You want to get your screenplay made,” Professor McBride suggested, “Go write a novel.”

So, that’s what I did.

Pursuing publishing wasn’t giving up – it was a part of the plan all along.

Now that I have three books published and more on the way, I’m ready to start using my decades of storytelling experience to come back to my first love of filmmaking.

I’m taking classes again.

I’m writing scripts again.

I’m even in pre-production for a short film.

And it all feels so friggin’ great to be back in this visual medium.

Arriving with Leverage

Lately, I’ve been trying to reframe “I’m late to the game” to “I’m arriving with leverage.”

I’m arriving with over thirty years of storytelling experience.

I’m arriving with maturity, clarity, and stability.

I’m arriving with confidence, contacts, and the receipts to prove I can do this.

Most of all, I’m arriving with a community of support, who will remind me of my values and help to keep me safe.

I’m not late. I’m right on time.

What about you, friend?

Is there something you’ve been putting off for too long that you’re ready to pursue?

Is there something you’re arriving to with leverage?

Do you resonate with choosing a different path because the obstacles of oppression were just too hard on the original one?

Let me know in the comments

Leave a comment

I’m excited to cheer you on for whatever path your journey takes.

With love and perseverance,

Lauren

P.S. I’m not one to quote the Bible, but a client shared this from James 1, Verse 2 and I loved it so much I thought I’d share it here as well:

“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Sharing Is Caring

Here are some relevant resources that you might find helpful if you liked today’s letter:

• The key to making your creative dreams come true? Resilience. And I’ve got some fun and colorful tools to help you build up yours. Check it out at 33Asks.com.

• I still keep in touch with my screenwriting Professor James McBride – even thanked him in the acknowledgement of Because Fat Girl. He has a new book out that’s a great insight into acting and directing. Grab a copy here.

• My novel Because Fat Girl is a look at what my life would have been like if I hadn’t given up on my film directing dreams – and if The Rock fell in love with me. It’s as fun as it sounds. You should grab a copy here.

• If you liked this post, here are two more you’ll also love:

*Some of these links might be affiliate links, but I only share resources I love, regardless of affiliate status.

Do you use tarot decks in your life? If so, in what way?

Are you a tarot skeptic? If so, why?

I’d love to know. Reply to this email or leave a comment on the post.

Leave a comment

I want to bring you along for a special tarot reading I did for you and me.

I’m not a tarot expert by any means, but lately I’ve been leaning into the part of myself that’s a little less #girlboss and a little more artsy witch.

Here’s a clip with more about that transition:

What are you feeling these days?

More practical, more artsy, more witchy?

All of the above? None of the above?

I’d love to know.

Tarot as a Storytelling Technique

My policy on everything spiritual – and really everything in life – is “take what serves you, leave the rest.”

So, you don’t have to believe in tarot or know much about it to come along for this ride. You just have to appreciate a good storytelling technique.

More on that in this preview clip:

In this intimate video I:

• Share why I think artsy witch is the new #girlboss,

• Show you a few of the tarot decks I love (including one I brought back from my recent trip to Mexico City),

• Talk about why I use tarot as a storytelling tool rather than a prediction machine.

At the end, I also do a tarot reading for all of us, asking this question:

What insight do we need to know to continue living a boldly creative life in this period of upheaval?

The answer?

Well, you’ll just have to watch the full video to see.

When you’re done watching it, let me know in the comments if it resonated with you.

Leave a comment

With you in the practical and the woo,

Lauren

P.S. I have this Come With Me intimate video series behind a paywall to prevent trolling and help it feel more personal. This allows me to say and share the kinds of things I wouldn’t elsewhere on the Internet.

If you’d like to see the full video, you can subscribe below.

Subscribe now

Links I promised I’d share in the video:

The decks I love, use, and discuss in this video are:

• The Goddess Tarot Deck by Kris Waldherr

• The Modern Witch Tarot Deck by Lisa Sterle

• The Wild Unknown Tarot Deck and Guidebook by Kim Krans

• Magas Ilustradas, La Baraja by Mara Belén Parra

The other posts I mentioned are:

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Is the world feeling a little much right now?

Do you long to escape into a book that feels like a warm bath?

I’ve got some recommendations for you!

I’ve been devouring novels in the “cozy sci-fi fantasy” realm lately and I’ve put together a list so you can join me by the fire.

These six books will feel like a warm hug. There are stakes, but not too high. There is a plot, but it’s not too harrowing. And the endings are as comforting as sitting in a big fluffy chair with a cup of tea.

Ready to get cozy?

Let’s go.

The House on the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

I will always and forever start lists of comfort reads with this book. It is the book I go to when life feels rough and I need some laughter and hope. I even listened to it as I was wheeled into surgery – twice.

It is especially great on audiobook, with the amazing Daniel Henning bringing the characters to life in such vivid ways.

If you haven’t read The House on the Cerulean Sea yet, I HIGHLY suggest grabbing it right this second. Your whole body will thank you.

Grab a copy of The House on the Cerulean Sea:

• From Bookshop.org – a way to support local independent bookstores

• On Libro.fm – an independent alternative to Audible

• On Kindle or Audible

The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst

Baby mermaids.

Do I need to say anything else?

Okay, fine, I’ll add that this story discusses overthrowing unjust rulers, saving books from being burned, and has baby mermaids.

Yes, they’re worth mentioning twice because they’re so darn cute.

More than anything, this book – and the sequel The Enchanted Greenhouse – is a nervous system balm. I don’t know how Sarah Beth Durst did it, but the minute I step into her world, I feel safer in my own.

If you need the book equivalent of a bedtime hug, get a copy of The Spellshop today.

Grab a copy of The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst:

• From Bookshop.org – a way to support local independent bookstores

• On Libro.fm – an independent alternative to Audible

• On Kindle or Audible

Shard of Glass by Emily Deady

I don’t know about you, but I’d love a fairy godmother to come BibbideeBobbideeBoo my life right now, and introduce me to a cute femme or non-binary royal with a shoe fetish to sweep me off my feet.

Emily Deady’s retelling of Cinderella has

While I haven’t yet read this Cinderella retelling, its 4.5 star rating out of 905 reviews is pretty telling for how great it is. And, best of all, it’s written by my friend Emily, who is such a lovely human being who gives the greatest hugs.

There are five books in the series – with rumors of more coming soon – so you’ll have plenty to devour if you love this world.

I just started the first one today, join me in reading it?!

Grab a copy of Shard of Glass by Emily Deady:

• Kindle, audiobook, and paper copy all sold through Amazon only right now

The Monk & Robot Duology & The Wayfarer Series by Becky Chambers

Two for one here, ya’ll! (Actually, it’s six for one, but who’s counting?)

When I sat down to write this post, I couldn’t decide between including the Monk and Robot books by Becky Chambers, or the Wayfarer series. So, I’m including both!

If you want to get lost into a series of interconnected but separate stories set in space that will have you appreciating humanity among aliens, pick up a copy of A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet, the first book in the Wayfarer series.

If you’re looking for a short but powerful, heartfelt weekend read, grab A Psalm for the Wild-Built. You can get it on its own, or combined into one book with the sequel A Prayer for the Crown-Shy.

Either way, you can’t go wrong.

Grab a copy of the Monk & Robot books, starting with A Psalm for the Wild-Built:

• From Bookshop.org – a way to support local independent bookstores

• On Libro.fm – an independent alternative to Audible

• On Kindle or Audible

Grab a copy of The Wayfarer Series, starting with The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet:

• From Bookshop.org – a way to support local independent bookstores

• On Libro.fm – an independent alternative to Audible

• On Kindle or Audible

Can’t Spell Treason Without Tea by Rebecca Thorne

Do you ever feel like running away from your life with a magical, hot, lesbian lover and starting a tea shop in a tiny town with cranky neighbors that eventually become your besties?

Maybe that’s just me…

But the popularity of this series shows I’m not alone.

I love how much this book made me feel safe in an unsafe world, worthy of love, and as cozy as a cup of tea by the fire.

If you like people who love tea and hate tyranny, this book is for you.

Grab a copy of Can’t Spell Treason Without Tea:

• From Bookshop.org – a way to support local independent bookstores

• On Libro.fm – an independent alternative to Audible

• On Kindle or Audible

Coffeeshop in an Alternate Universe by C.B. Lee

Confession: I haven’t read this one yet, but it’s high up on my TBR list for three important reasons.

First, C.B. Lee came to my book launch for Because Fat Girl and since then we have become friends. I love that they came out to support a fellow queer without us ever having met, and that shows you how wonderful of a heart they have.

Second, that heart obviously shines through in their other work, so I know this novel is full of joy and comfort as well.

And three, this book is on every list I see about cozy fantasy novels and has high ratings, so I have a feeling it’s going to be good.

My copy is on my shelf and this feels like a great excuse to pick it up and finally start reading it. Want to join me?

Grab a copy of Coffeeshop in an Alternate Universe by C.B. Lee:

• From Bookshop.org – a way to support local independent bookstores

• On Kindle or Audible

• Not currently available on Libro.fm

BONUS: Because Fat Girl by Lauren Marie Fleming

My favorite cozy read, for obvious reasons. It’s not technically in the fantasy genre, but it is my personal fantasy played out.

Think a queer Cinderella story set in modern day Hollywood.

It’s fun, it’s heartfelt, it’s deep, and that ending will have you crying tears of joy.

If you’re needing hope in life right now, this is the perfect book for you.

Grab a copy of Because Fat Girl by Lauren Marie Fleming:

• From Bookshop.org – a way to support local independent bookstores

• On Libro.fm – an independent alternative to Audible

• On Kindle or Audible

What are you favorites that I should add to this list?

I’m constantly looking for more cozy books, so I’d love to know your favorites below!

Leave a comment

And be sure to subscribe to get more reading suggestions and tips for living a boldly creative life delivered directly into your inbox.

Subscribe now

Keep reading.

Keep creating.

Keep going.

Because the world needs your story now more than ever.

With love and a mug of tea to go with your new books,

Lauren

Required disclaimer: The content above contains some affiliate links. Buying through these links helps support both my company School for Writers® and this Substack. Thanks for that support! Rest assured, I only suggest items I love, regardless of affiliate status.

Dear friend,

I realized recently that somewhere along the line, I started talking to ChatGPT more than I was talking to my friends. Not because I preferred talking to a robot, but because I didn’t want to burden anyone in my life.

Tonight I was standing in my kitchen staring at a giant pile of dishes and wishing I had someone to simply talk with me as I did them.

But it was late, and people were asleep, and I’d already sent way too many voice notes to my friends today (it was an eclipse, there were lots of feelings).

I almost turned to ChatGPT again. Instead, I hit record and turned to you.

Here’s a sneak peek of what I had to say:

The answer in life is not robots. It’s human connection.

The thing I’m aiming for in my life right now is not perfection. It’s artistic expression.

So to add to the larger experiment that is this Substack I call Unscripted, I’ve decided to start recording videos for my paid subscribers.

Most of what I share here is free, but the paywall helps keep these posts more private and therefore more intimate.

In this video, I talk about loneliness, breakups, creativity, sobriety during hard moments, inviting neighbors over for art nights, and why the real antidote to this moment might just be doing ordinary life together again.

If you’ve got your own dishes to do, all the better.

But feel free to just sit back and listen.

And then, respond. I’d love to know your thoughts on these topics.

Because we’re all in this together.

With love,

Lauren

P.S. If you’re feeling lonely right now, I feel you. I love you. I’m sorry the world is so isolating. You’re not alone. I made this for you.

P.P.S. Here’s another sneak peek for you:

Read more

Have you ever achieved a goal only to have it feel anticlimactic?

Crossing the finish line of a marathon – then having to hobble to your car.

Starting an exciting new job – then sitting in the chair on that first day thinking “what now?”

Doing a deep clean on your kitchen – then realizing it’s dinner time and you’re about to mess it all up again.

Having a goal gives us focus, purpose, and direction in life – so we can often feel let down, unmoored, or even depressed when that goal is achieved.

Have you ever felt that? Are you experiencing it now? Let me know in the comments.

Leave a comment

Last week, I shared the six-step process I use to reset my life and align it to my bigger creative goals. This week, I want to show you that plan in action in my own life over the last year.

In late 2024, my lifelong dream came true.

After 20+ years as a professional writer, 4 different literary agents, and 7 years working on this particular book, my debut novel Because Fat Girl was finally out in the world.

And it was everywhere.

Big box stores and independent ones. Airports and libraries.

For months, not a day went by without someone sending me a picture they’d snapped of my book out in the wild.

It was surreal!

The process left me feeling two things: immense gratitude and an intense unmooring (you can read all about that here).

In 2025, I sat in the arrival.

I spent over two decades trying to get to the top of the “traditionally published author” mountain, and now that I’d arrived, I wanted to sit and bask in the view.

So, for a year, I did just that.

I arrived.

I sat in it.

I enjoyed the view.

I invested in my personal life.

• I went to Mexico City (twice),

• I took rope classes,

• I worked on my fear of falling in love,

• I started dating someone new,

• I bought myself flowers,

• I got a TV comedy writing certificate from UCLA,

• I started exploring film again,

• I stopped dating that someone new,

• I took long walks,

• I napped in the park with Albee.

For a year, I meandered through life without a set goal – a rarity for my achievement-oriented self.

For a year, I let myself feel what it was like to just be – to let my existing accomplishments be enough.

For a year, I sat in the uncomfortable reality that I had nothing left to prove – and maybe never had anything to prove in the first place.

Reorienting myself.

For over a decade, my personal and professional life was guided by a rather singular goal, and every decision I made was run through a question aligned with that goal:

Will this help me get a traditional publishing book deal and make the book a massive hit when it comes out?

With this goal in mind and question in hand, I was able to filter jobs, clients, even lovers.

It felt like a superpower, having that decision-maker in my head. While other people wandered around aimlessly in life, I knew exactly where I was headed.

Until suddenly, I reached the summit.

My journey was complete.

I’d done the damn thing.

Now what the hell was I supposed to do with my life?

Suddenly I went from a gal on a mission to a woman unmoored, floating aimlessly in the sea of possibility with no destination in sight.

I’d lost my North Star.

It took me a whole year – and a crap ton of stickers – to find it again.

And I love what I found.

New Dreams, New Filter Question

After a year of celebrating and soul searching, I found myself asking a new question over and over again when I thought about what was next for my life

Will this get me closer to winning an Oscar surrounded by people I love?

If you’ve read my memoir-pretending-to-be-fiction novel Because Fat Girl, you probably know how much winning an Oscar means to me. It’s not about the ego and the prestige – although there’s that for sure – as much as what winning an Oscar means.

To win an Oscar, I must fully embrace and fill my life with:

• Multimedia storytelling

• Collaborative artistic processes

• Creating stories that are at once culturally relevant, artistically inspiring, and commercially appealing

To do it surrounded by people I love, I must:

• Make space for love of all kinds in my life

• Release the American ideal of hyper independence

• Embrace the vulnerability of letting people into the process with me

This isn’t about the Oscars; it’s about the person I have to be and the life I have to live to aim for that goal.

It’s about where I put my time, money, and energy.

It’s about what creative projects I say no to and which ones I take on.

It’s about becoming the kind of person who can proudly declare to the world:

I want to win an Oscar, I’m going to work hard to make that happen, and I want to do it surrounded by people I love – do you want to come along for the ride?

No really – do you want to come along for the ride?

Let me know in the comments.

Leave a comment

I find that life is so much more fun when I share it, so I plan to document the whole process here on Substack with you. Be sure to subscribe to join in the fun.

Subscribe now

Because the world needs our stories now more than ever.

Cannot wait to see you on the red carpet,

Lauren

This Tuesday was a massive reset day across cultures, calendars, and even the cosmos.

Did you feel it?

In a single 24-hour span, we had:

• Lunar New Year / Chinese New Year / Tết

• The Muslim holy month of Ramadan started

• Fat Tuesday / Mardi Gras / Beginning of Christian’s Lent

• New moon cycle started

• A solar eclipse in Aquarius – initiating a new two-year, future-oriented cycle, according to astrologers

• Saturn-Neptune met in a conjunction at 0º Aries – creating a reset and starting a new 36-year cycle in astrology

• It was the start of the work week after a long holiday weekend in the USA

No matter your beliefs, that’s a lot of fresh-start energy concentrated into one moment. To help you navigate it, I’m sharing the process I use whenever I need to reset with intention.

Introducing The Six-Step Creative Life Alignment Ritual

This isn’t about goal setting or adding to your to-do list. Instead, it’s a process for continually realigning your life to your bigger legacy, joys, and dreams.

You can turn to it when:

• You’ve hit the summit of a major goal.

• You’re grieving or overwhelmed with the state of the world.

• You’re beginning anything new – a year, a quarter, or just a random day you choose to hit refresh.

It’s a great process for reassessing where you’re headed and how you want to get there.

This isn’t about adding more to your to-do-list. It’s about aligning yourself to the big dreams you have for your life.

This isn’t a strict regimen. It’s a creative ritual.

It might take an afternoon. It might take a month. It might take a season.

However long your process takes, that’s okay!

Save this post. Come back to it.

Share it with friends for accountability if that helps.

Share

Make it your own.

Take your time.

Let it be colorful. Let it be fun. And let it adapt to your needs today.

So grab a pen and paper.

Make yourself a mocktail.

And let’s begin.

The Six-Step Creative Life Alignment Ritual

1️⃣ Step 1: Three-Pillar Legacy

Knowing why I’m doing something and how it relates to the legacy I want to leave in the world has been one of the biggest keys to both my success and satisfaction in life.

The word “legacy” might feel loaded or overwhelming for you. If that’s the case, take a big deep breath and trust me here, I promise this is a game changer and worth the effort.

Knowing the legacy I want to leave has helped me to truly understand where I’m headed and feel good about it. When I forget my legacy, I become unmoored, a ship floating in the sea. With my legacy, I have direction and purpose in life.

Do not worry about getting it “right” – it will adjust and change.

Mine has changed throughout the years; yours will as well. That is totally okay.

What matters most is taking the time to think about the impact you want to have on this world.

You can write yours out as a simple one liner, but I like to think of mine as three separate but interconnected pillars.

Three-Pillar Legacy:

• Me: What am I going to create in this world for myself? What am I going to do for myself before I am no longer physically here? What does that look like in action?

• You: Who am I going to serve in this world? What direct contact will I have with others that will leave a lasting positive impact? What does that look like in action?

• Us: How am I going to impact the greater good? What ripple effects will my life have on society long after I am gone? What does that look like in action?

To find out your legacy, all you have to do is answer those questions – on a piece of paper or even just in your head.

If you can sum them up succinctly, great! If not, also great!

Either way, simply taking time to think about these questions will help you feel more aligned and less overwhelmed in life.

I promise.

2️⃣ Step 2: Two-Year North Star

As a Sagittarius sun, I fear losing my freedom. As a Capricorn rising, I love a good commitment. A Two-Year North Star lets me hold both.

Two years is my sweet spot. Shorter and I feel frantic. Longer and I lose interest before I even begin.

Your timeline might be different — but the point is to choose a container that feels expansive and focused at the same time.

After defining my Three-Pillar Legacy (or my overall lifetime direction), I ask:

Who am I becoming over the next two years?

This isn’t about creating a giant to-do list.

It’s about creating a clear, visible reminder of who you’re becoming — so you can stay aligned with your dreams.

I broke my Two-Year North Star into four areas:

• Physical: How can I meet myself where I’m at and thrive mentally, physically, and spiritually?

• Creative: Who am I as an artist in this season? What am I building? What am I practicing?

• Personal: How do I want to live day to day? How do I want to feel? How do I show up in relationships?

• Professional: How am I resourcing this life? What financial and career structures support the version of me I’m becoming?

I journaled freely at first. Then I distilled it down into something visible and simple — a large post-it on my wall that I look at every single day.

If this feels overwhelming, simplify it.

Make a mood board.

Write a single paragraph.

Choose three words.

The goal isn’t perfection.

The goal is a visible reminder of where you’re headed — a map you can glance at when you feel lost.

3️⃣ Step 3: Alignment Question

Your Three-Pillar Legacy is your compass. Your Two-Year North Star is your map. And your Alignment Question is how you decide which steps to take each day.

I like to frame the alignment question like this:

“Will this help me get closer to ____{insert dream and/ or legacy here}____?

For me, the question is:

Will this help me win an Oscar surrounded by people I love?

This is not actually about winning an Oscar – although that would be amazing. I chose an Oscar on purpose, not because it’s ego-driven, but because of what it would mean for me as an artist.

There are plenty of awards out there I could aspire to win, but an Oscar means I made a movie that hit an emotional nerve in the culture, was commercially successful, and required collaborating with many kinds of artists working together to make one vision come true together.

And I added “surrounded by people I love” because I do not want to do this next chapter of my life alone.

I’ve tried to do it alone and failed. Doing it on your own is a myth. We all only thrive within community.

“Will this get me closer to winning an Oscar surrounded by people I love?” is my shorthand for many other deeper questions, including:

• Does this build the kind of creative work that has a culture impact?

• Does this strengthen my partnerships and collaborations?

• Does this align with my devotion to leaving a legacy of impactful storytelling?

This one question becomes an easy filter for daily decisions. I don’t have to look at my entire legacy. I don’t have to reread my Two-Year North Star.

I just ask the question.

Your alignment question doesn’t have to incorporate everything, but it should represent your:

• Creative ambition

• Bigger life dreams

• Commitment to what matters to you

Then you can make decisions using one simple question as a filter.

Now don’t get me wrong, not everything I do is helping me win an Oscar directly, but things like traveling to Mexico City or taking a rope class are helping me refill my creative bucket.

And sometimes, it’s just fun to live a little.

Your version might be simpler.

It might be a single word or phrase.

It might be “will this bring me joy?”

Don’t get caught up on the exact phrasing, it will change! All you have to do right now is write down something you can reference to check in with yourself.

The point isn’t perfection.

The point is having one emotionally charged question that carries your legacy and your North Star inside it — so you can make aligned decisions without reinventing your life plan every single time something shiny shows up.

4️⃣ Step 4: Six-Month Focus

Now, using all you’ve done above, we’re going to break down your focus for the next six months.

I use six months for a few reasons:

1. Personally, I only really have six months of go-go-go energy in me – spring and summer. I need fall and winter to go slower and be more introspective. (And you probably do too.)

2. Life happens and we don’t know where we’ll be or what we’ll accomplish in a set amount of time, so six months allows for flexibility.

3. While training to run a marathon, I learned that I can handle almost anything if I know that I only have to do it for a set amount of time. Six months is an amount of time that feels doable to commit to without overwhelming in that commitment.

You can do a year, three months, six weeks, whatever works personally for you.

Once you have your timeline, take a piece of paper (or a journal spread like I have above) and write your Alignment Question in the middle.

Then, split it into the four sections of your North Star:

• Personal

• Physical

• Creative

• Professional

Next, decide one flame and one simmer for the next six months.

• Flame = what’s hot right now, where I’m consistently focusing most of my energy

• Simmer = what’s in the background gaining some steam, something I’m thinking about but not necessarily doing every day

This is a general idea focus, not yet a to-do list. Think “dance in a way that feels embodied and challenges me to learn new moves” not “sign-up for dance cardio on Monday at 3pm.”

And I’m going to say this again, you get ONE flame and ONE simmer and THAT IS IT!

You can work on the rest another time.

This allows you to set realistic expectations, prevents burn out, and makes you more likely to actually finish the thing you set out to do.

5️⃣ Step 5: Monthly Checklist

This is when you finally get to make a to-do list! Before this, you’re dreaming, visioning, and aligning. Now, you’re doing.

I did three months at a time because I’m working up to three different deadlines that needed me to pace them out. Feel free to break yours down one month at a time, weekly, daily, or whatever works best for you.

For this one, I did personal and physical separately from and creative and professional, because they’re not only two different parts of my brain but two parts of my schedule.

Here’s an example of my professional one, all of them aligned with actions it takes to get to my North Star by 45 and helping my win an Oscar surrounded by people I love:

6️⃣ Step 6: Break It Down and Do the Damn Thing!

Your next step is to take that monthly checklist and break it down into a to-do list you will actually finish!

For the goals that feel big and bold, you need 33 Asks®. It’s the best way I know how to get out there and make creative dreams come true – from building up a career to getting a book deal. And I’ve got loads of testimonials proving it works.

The key – as you can see in all the images of this post – is to make analog (pen and paper), colorful, and bold. Stickers are a bonus, if not a must!

Even when deciding to turn my little magic 33 Asks® process I made for myself into a program, I used this system.

Instead of “create a course out of 33 Asks®” – which felt like A LOT to do – I now had a simple structure for the program that then became my checklist to creating the content.

Here’s another example of a 33 Asks® style sticker chart I did for finishing my latest novel, which I’m calling Bigger. I took the chapters I knew I needed to write, and made a simple checklist with a reminder of my why and a reward to make me want to do it.

Instead of “finish your book” – which feels overwhelming to start – I now have a succinct checklist I can go down and do.

Whatever format you decide to use, make sure that it feels doable and visually appealing to look at so you’ll come back to it again and again until you’re done.

And that’s the The Six-Step Creative Life Alignment Ritual!

If it feels like a lot, here’s your friendly reminder that you don’t have to do it all at once and you definitely don’t have to do it perfectly.

Just start at the top and work your way down.

Save this post so you can come back to it.

And be sure to subscribe so you can get more details on how I personally implement this process in my life.

Subscribe now

Let me know what you think.

Did something open up for you reading about this process?

What part excites you the most?

Is there something you’re confused about?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Leave a comment

And if this resonated with you, share it with a friend!

You’re 92% more likely to actually do something if you bring someone along for the ride, so sharing is actually caring for yourself.

Share

Excited to share more about each step of the process with you soon and see where it takes us on our journey to living a boldly creative life.

Because the world needs your story now more than ever.

Lauren

P.S. You can do this all on a computer if you really want, but I still think the magic is in pen and paper.

Sharing is Caring

You can do this on your computer, but I HIGHLY suggest going analog. Your basic need is something to write on and something to write with, but if you want to get a bit more fancy, here are some things I love:

• Blank pieces of paper – either loose or in a notebook, preferably not lined

  • I love my Passion Planner for this, it has blank page spreads in the back that I fill each month I do 33 Asks – and they have great company values.

  • If you want to go big, try these easel pads/giant post-it notes! My clients and I love them – and they stick to walls over and over again, so you can move them around.

• Stickers = dopamine hit!

  • Love the options Passion Planner has for sticker packs and find that the colorful images and phrases on the stickers often motivate me when I’m stuck creatively.

  • Bando is also a fun choice for stickers and I like this sticker book with lots of fun options in it.

  • Stationary sections of grocery stores or pharmacy/convenience stores like CVS, Walgreens, Target, etc.

• Colorful pens and highlighters

  • I love the highlighter packs that have green, pink, yellow, blue, purple, and orange and this one is made from recycled plastic.

  • Pentel Energels are my favorite pens by far and I love this pack that comes with lots of colors – plus you can also buy refills online to save plastic.

The best option is one you’ll actually use so grab whatever feels fun for you and don’t wait for the perfect planner, sticker, or pen, just start today with what you have.

I do not know how to come back to America.

There has been such relief in escaping, such joy in logging offline, such power in saying “not now, I’m writing.”

I owed no time to family, friends, business or politics.

I basked in the privilege of simply getting to write, eat, and heal.

I’ve felt younger, lighter, saner, healthier, and happier.

How do I bring this lightness back to a world that feels so heavy?

Every single day, I sat in deep gratitude for the opportunity to simply be an artist in residence. I could not do this without community support. My sister watching my dog. My neighbors checking on my home. My clients honoring my need for creative time. My parents giving me pesos to help pay for food while I’m down here. My friends and readers cheering me on.

And every single day, I thought about those who did not have the same fortune as me. Immigrants forced out of their country by violence only to find even more in the USA. Parents working two jobs each just to go deeper and deeper into debt to afford the bare necessities. Minnesotans trying to stop what feels like a civil war happening in their streets.

I don’t know how to reconcile the profound internal change that has happened to me over this month in Mexico with the devastation that is happening back in the USA.

The degradation of due process. The stripping of basic human rights. The kidnapping of a foreign government’s head of state. The threat of war (for what is saying you’ll annex a neighboring country if not declaring war on them?). The rising unchecked power of the president. Thousands of emails showing just how depraved men with wealth can get.

It’s hard to list that all out without feeling like a paranoid conspiracy theorist.

It is hard to read that and not want to burn it all fucking down.

And then there is the pressure of daily life.

There are bills to pay, a business to run, friends to support, a dog to walk, groceries to buy, meals to make, toilets to clean, family to see, relationships to foster, parties to attend.

I do not know how to take on the weight of life again.

Yes, I cannot wait to cuddle my dog and take long walks in the park.

Yes, I am looking forward to seeing my family and visiting friends.

Yes, I can’t wait to go back to queer line dancing at the gay bar near my house.

I’m even eager to get back to School for Writers®, helping creatives build resilience and get their stories out into the world.

But all of that at once?

It’s a lot to hold.

This Is Not New to America

We were built by old white men who hated paying taxes, loved guns, traded people like property, decimated native civilizations on purpose, and assaulted women – often young enslaved women – without consequence.

We hadn’t fixed that legacy, but we had made significant progress towards the promise of life, liberty, and justice for all.

Progress that is backsliding rapidly in the name of making America great again.

Great for whom?

It does not feel great to go home right now.

It does not feel safe to go home right now.

This Is Not New to Me

This is not the first time I have left my country and returned with a new perspective. It will not be the last.

As much as Mexico feels like home sometimes, I am a citizen and resident of the United States. I don’t want to abandon my country – I want to go back and fight for the rights and safety of myself and my neighbors within it.

My home is flawed, but it is mine.

My country is far from perfect, but I am proud of our founding principles of individual rights, separation of powers, checks and balances, and no one – even the president – being above the law.

Those values are enough to make me feel patriotic. Those defining principles are worth fighting for.

This is why I went to law school. This is why I’m a life-long activist, even if a reluctant one sometimes.

And this is why I’m going back with a renewed commitment to protect those values and principles.

Because I want to keep having a home to come back to.

With love and perseverance,

Lauren

P.S. I’d love to hear how you’re finding lightness in this heavy world. Let me know in the comments.

Leave a comment

Sharing Is Caring

There is no one clear solution to holding the heaviness that we are all feeling right now, but these three things help me:

• Journaling – you can get my course for free right now with code “love”.

• Reading – you can see some of my favorites here.

• Actively building creative resilience – and I have a free toolkit to help you do that.

However, the biggest needle mover by far is community.

When the world feels heavy, we often retreat into ourselves, but that’s when we need human connection the most.

• Organize a potluck.

• Have friends over to do crafts and chat.

• March in a rally.

• Support your local library by using its resources.

• Take a dance class at a gay bar or cultural center.

• Attend an event at your local independent bookstore.

These are all things I’ve done over the last year and they’ve all made me feel lighter, less scared, and more hopeful.

They’re the types of activities I’m going to lean into when I’m back in the states.

Life is heavy right now, but I have faith that we can hold it together.

Got more ideas for building an even stronger community right now? I’d love to hear them in the comments.

Leave a comment

I know you just got a letter from me yesterday, but experiencing the Benito Bowl in Mexico felt like it deserved a special Monday mention.

Cafes in Coyoacán brought out TV’s – not for the football, but for Bad Bunny. The streets were full of people singing his songs all weekend, including a mariachi band in the town square.

The night before, I’d been in a crowded apartment full of people from all over North and South America, everyone dancing and singing to his songs. It was pure joy.

For the concert, I went to my local cafe, grabbed some papas paprikas, and waited. Once the first half was over, the owner started pulling people in from the streets, offering them seats for the show.

While Bad Bunny set up, they played advertisements to convince Mexicans to come to Disneyland, promising it was safe. I heard an older woman and her husband talk about ICE and how nothing is safe there for them there.

When the concert started, people sang along, some danced, and everyone nodded along, not just to the rhythm, but to the symbolism.

We clapped when he mentioned Mexico along with the other countries. 🇲🇽

At the end of the show, a man in the stands held up an “ICE OUT” sign and they showed a security guard forcing him to put it down. I wondered if the U.S. broadcast even showed him.

When it was over, everyone sat in silence, in awe of what we just saw.

Then the cook started blasting BAILE INoLVIDABLE from the kitchen, cued up to “no, no te puedo olvidar” like she’d only paused Bad Bunny to watch Bad Bunny. 🐰

That’s the power of art, language, and culture.

That’s the power of unity.

Bad Bunny’s performance wasn’t just a thing of artistic and symbolic beauty, it was a declaration:

• That America is a diverse and beautiful place full of art, culture, and languages.

• That together, we are America.

• That love and unity is stronger than hate and division.

May we all carry that feeling with us as we continue to fight against those who would try to convince us otherwise.

With love,

Lauren

P.S. If you haven’t yet, check out my latest letter on growing up on the border, traveling to Mexico as a visitor, and learning to walk the line between appreciation and appropriation.

P.P.S. Trying to figure out how to balance art and activism, life and protest? Me too. I wrote this letter for us.

There is a fine line between appreciation and appropriation, and I walk it every time I engage in Mexican culture.

Growing up on the border, my town was 86% Mexican, mostly recent immigrants or first generation. I spent eighteen formative years surrounded by Mexican culture and traditions – eating tamales for Christmas, dancing folklorico for school assemblies, listening to mariachi, and buying churritos off the abuela who sold them out of the front of her house, smothering them in too much Valentina hot sauce every time.

I learned to cuss in Spanish, spoke Spanglish with my friends, and engaged daily with people who did not speak English, using hand gestures to get our points across to each other.

In this way, visiting Mexico has always felt to me like going home.

But it is not my home. Despite my deep experience with Mexican culture, it is not my own – a fact I’ve forgotten too often throughout life.

I remember dancing on New Year’s Eve to ring in 2015 with a stranger’s hands on my hips as she complimented me on my rhythm. “It’s my Mexican upbringing,” I said.

She called me out for being white and I only doubled down, still unsure how to handle admitting when I was wrong and far from able to articulate my own lived experience with Mexican culture.

What I should have said was that one New Year’s Eve, twenty years before, I stood awkwardly in the corner of a party where I was the only white girl, and my friend’s mom took pity on me, pulled me into the circle of women dancing while the men drank, and taught me how to move my hips to cumbias.

I should have given credit where it was due and explained that the only reason I had rhythm was because of Mexican women.

Instead, I coopted them as my own.

Even now, I think about how that family would say I was theirs too. How my friend’s mother called me mija. How they held me through my father’s cancer, how we celebrated holidays and birthdays together.

My friend and I have fallen out of touch over the decades, but she still asks my parents about me every time they see her, and sends me updates on her kids through social media.

But that’s the thing right there. She might have been like family, but she is still not my flesh and blood. Just like Mexico is familiar, but not my country.

When my novel Because Fat Girl came out, I had multiple latine people tell me how much they saw themselves in the book. I beam with a little too much pride when people compliment me on my accent while reading the audiobook.

It mattered to me that there was Spanish spoken in the book not just because of my background but also because it’s set in L.A. – of course there would be Spanish!

In fact, there was a whole plot line that included people speaking Spanish around Chris Stanton and him not understanding what they were saying. I eventually took it out because it was too unrealistic that someone had grown up in Southern California and didn’t know Spanish.

I wanted and needed to normalize dual languages spoken in a book, without italics, without othering, without even pointing it out through someone not getting what others were saying. I tried to simply make Spanish a part of life for my characters. Like it had been for me growing up.

Mexico City is far from the borderlands where I was raised. Friends here laugh at my Mexicali accent, and I still can’t understand the difference between the way they say tiendita and how I do – although they mostly call them abarrotes here.

When I navigate the streets, I am doing so with both the disadvantage of a foreign woman and the privilege of a white American with a strong exchange rate.

As gentrification and over tourism wreak havoc on the city, I spend a lot of time talking with friends and family members about how to experience this country and place that I love so dearly without adding to a colonialism that is both thousands of years old and a product of the digital nomad age.

With the exception of a couple blocks radius from Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo’s La Casa Azul, I rarely hear English spoken around where I am staying, but in Condessa and Roma it fills the sidewalks and cafés.

The streets of Condessa have a different polish than Coyoacán, like it has been dressed up for the hipster tourists who come to capture content for social media. Just walking down the street, I feel like a colonizer, an active participant in the larger gentrification problem Mexico City is facing.

I can’t blame people for flocking to those parts of town, though. Vine-wrapped high-rises, plant-filled balconies, and tree-lined pedestrian walkways house artist galleries, specialty coffee shops, and fantastic brunch spots. It reminds me of SoHo, Notting Hill, or Valencia Street, parts of big cities that make me feel hipper and chicer just being in them.

On my first Saturday back here, my friend Caro and I met up for pedicures and tacos. We meandered through Condessa, looking for artists she knew in the galleries, both of us lamenting at the gentrification going on around us.

“I used to live a few blocks from here,” Caro pointed behind us. “But the rent doubled and I had to move. I think they rent it to digital nomads now.”

The consequences of the COVID pandemic to Mexico City weren’t just physical. The influx of foreigners with remote jobs fleeing the regulations of other countries wreaked havoc on the local economy here.

Sure, some flourished with cafes, restaurants, and yoga studios catering to these newcomers who earned much more than the average Chilango, but the cost of living has gotten impossible for locals, especially in places like Condessa and Roma where AirBnb’s for tourists took over apartments that used to house residents.

“I don’t know what to do as a foreigner who loves this place,” I admitted.

“I don’t know what the answer is either,” Caro confessed.

Many of my conversations about Mexico City end here at this stalemate. Nobody seems to have the solution to this complex issue.

As someone who is pro-immigration and very much a nomad at heart, I firmly believe in the free movement of humans, ideas, and cultures across man-made borders.

The anti-gentrification protests here – with anarchists throwing rocks into the windows of English-speaking establishments and yelling at people to “go home” – often feel eerily similar to the violent anti-immigrant sentiments in the states.

My cousin lives in a town north of CDMX, and we were talking recently about this push towards glorifying and centering all things Mesoamerican and pre-Columbian. She said it’s great for reclaiming heritage, but it also means that her children are growing up with little to no diversity, which leads to less and less understanding of other people and cultures.

I have heard many African-Mexican friends and Asian-Mexican social media influencers I follow point out the rise in racism along with this hyper-nationalism pride.

Walking down the streets of Condessa, it’s impossible to ignore the way it caters to and centers white tourists from the United States and Europe.

The white supremacy, imperialism, and colonialism root of that is impossible to deny. Even the language we use around “ex-pat” versus “immigrant” is loaded with privilege and access.

The effects of gentrification – especially the influx of residences being turned into AirBnb’s for tourists and restaurants raising both their prices and expected tip percentages – are stark and felt acutely by every single person I’ve talked with down here.

How do you advocate for the free movement of people, ideas, and cultures across borders while also not aiding in gentrification?

How do we appreciate a culture without appropriating it and changing it to fit our ideals?

I don’t know the answer.

All I can do is keep having the conversation and making decisions with the impact of my privilege in mind.

What are your thoughts and experiences on appreciation versus appropriation, especially in regards to travel?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Leave a comment

Traveling is a part of living a boldly creative life for me, and I always hope I can do it in a way that encourages the exchange of ideas of cultures and amplifies the voices I meet.

Because the world needs our stories now more than ever.

With love and a belly full of tacos de suadero,

Lauren

P.S. Some parts of this post are taken from the novel I’m writing while down here. If you liked this, you’ll love the novel even more, so be sure to subscribe to get notices when it comes out.

Subscribe now

P.P.S. Enjoy this video I took of the retirees dancing in the park near me this weekend. They welcomed me with open arms and taught me some moves. <3

Sharing Is Caring

Here are some relevant resources that you might find helpful if you liked today’s letter:

• Interested in learning more about the effects of gentrification and over tourism on CDMX? Check out The Gringo Tax Solidarity Fund (GTSF), an organization dedicated to creative solidarity, coalition-building, political education, and resource redistribution.

• Wondering how I’m able to have both the confidence and resources to travel around the world? The key is creative resilience, and my 33 Asks® program can help you build up your own.

• One of the books that helped me learn about the literal streets of Mexico City was The Interior Circuit: A Mexico City Chronicle by Francisco Goldman. It’s a beautiful story about dealing with grief by learning to drive through this complex maze of cobblestone calles, while also exploring organized crime and the dark sides of this massive city. Order it from an independent bookstore here or get it on Kindle here.

• Want to learn more about Mexican culture and practice your Spanish? Check out these shows I’ve enjoyed on Netflix:

  • El Niñero (The Manny) – a family-friendly drama-filled show that bridges rural rancheros and city culture

  • La Casa de Flores – super LGBTQ friendly and full of hilarious twists and turns, plus one very iconic accent

  • Club de Cuervos – think Running Point meets Ted Lasso

*Some of these links might be affiliate links, but I only share resources I love, regardless of affiliate status.

Got a Mexican movie, book, or TV show you think I should check out? I’d love to know about it in the comments.

Leave a comment

I don’t want to talk about ICE. I want to describe the decadence that is eating chocoavellenda ice cream while watching retirees dance around a garden on a crisp Coyoacán night.

I don’t want to talk about masked men with guns roaming streets and schools. I want to talk about the penguin I won at a carnival shooting gallery for a Mexican girl who really wants to see Disneyland but can’t get a visa to the USA.

I don’t want to talk about the breaking down of human rights in my homeland. I want to talk about the soft ways I’m healing a broken heart.

I don’t want to be an activist right now. I just want to be an artist trying to write her next novel.

But here we are, once again, having to talk about ICE.

Why It Feels So Hard Right Now

I’ve been a proud activist since I was a kid, but I’m feeling more reluctant than ever to use my voice these days.

That is on purpose.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and unsure how and where to show up right now, it’s not your fault.

Shock and awe is a part of their plan.

But that’s also why it’s so important to find and use our voices right now. Even when it’s hard to do so.

If, like me, you’re scared of saying or doing the wrong thing, that’s understandable too.

Perfectionism is rampant in both conservative and progressive communities. Call-out culture sucks. Not a day goes by that I don’t have someone in my life pointing out how I’m “doing it wrong.”

But what is a boldly creative life if not a bravely flawed one?

What if we see this moment as yet another chance to practice imperfect action?

Doing It Imperfectly and Learning As We Go

At eighteen, I showed up to my very first anti-war march with a handwritten “God Bless the USA” sign. I still cringe thinking about it, not realizing my mistake until the organizers of the march got on a soap box with a bullhorn talking about religious conservatives trying to infiltrate their protest while looking straight at me.

I nodded my head, totally agreeing that we should look out for those people, only realizing they thought I was the threat when a friend pointed it out to me.

It was one of many times I’ve had to examine my privilege and undo the learning of my childhood. It’s not that my sign was inherently bad, it’s that the phrase came with a loaded history I hadn’t taken time to examine.

To this day, I mess up and say or do something inadvertently harmful. And while being called out still hits at my ego and pride, I’ve learned to be grateful for the awareness of my own misconceptions and oversights.

I am a caring, empathetic, and kind human thanks mostly to the queer, kinky, plus-sized, women and femmes of color in my life who have had the patience and generosity to share their stories and perspectives with me.

If you sometimes find yourself not participating in advocacy because you’re afraid you’ll do it wrong, this is your reminder that it’s okay to do it badly, especially at first.

Just like with most things in life, you can read all the theory you want, but you don’t actually know what you’re doing until you get hands on practice.

Around here, we celebrate you going out and trying something hard and scary, including standing up for what you believe in and using your voice for good.

Three Principles I Have for Activism

In a time of upheaval and overwhelm, having some guiding principles helps me recenter and make my activism something I can keep doing year after year.

I’m sharing these principles with you in case they resonate and help you take imperfect action in this overwhelming time.

As you’re reading through them, remember the point isn’t perfection — it’s sustainability. Take what works for you, leave what doesn’t.

1) Keep Yourself Alive

This is not about selfishness or privilege, this is about perseverance and resilience.

As someone who has battled self-harm, suicidal ideations, and depressive episodes since I was twelve, I have to consciously and proactively make my mental health a priority.

Additionally, I have some bodily limitations that make most types of physical advocacy difficult to impossible for me to do.

Which means sometimes activism has to take a back seat to self-care.

Yes, I want to live a boldly courageous life, standing up for what I believe in, and actively supporting others, but that has to include being brave enough to know my own limitations.

I cannot advocate for others if I am not caring for my own basic needs.

And neither can you.

So, first and foremost: eat, drink, sleep.

Then meet yourself where you’re at.

Can’t march in a protest? Host a letter writing campaign.

Social media bad for your mental health? Take it off your phone and replace scroll time with conversations about hard topics with friends.

Don’t have money to donate? Share free resources that others in your community might also need to access.

In a world that likes to tell us we’re never doing enough, meeting yourself where you’re at and doing what you can is a radical act.

Let me know in the comments: where are you right now, and how is that playing out in your activism?

No wrong answers.

Leave a comment

2) Regulate Your Nervous System

We are better advocates, community members, and humans when our nervous system is regulated. With the 24/7 news cycle and social media algorithms, our brains need time to desensitize and reset.

Two very easy and free ways to do that are journaling and tapping.

According to Psychology Today, journaling regulates the nervous system by shifting it from ‘fight-or-flight’ to ‘rest-and-digest’ mode, helping process emotions, decrease anxiety, and build resilience.

Right now, I’m offering my Journal Through It: From “Oh $#@!” to “I’ve got this!” in 15 Minutes course for free with code “love”.

It’s my small way to support your big impact.

Get it free with code LOVE

Tapping uses acupuncture points to release tension in your body and support your nervous system. It’s a quick and easy way to regulate, and I’ve used it to help me through surgeries, book tours, and breakups.

My friend and tapping coach Pam Covarrubias offers free and low-cost tapping circles for you to try it out, and has private coaching if you want more in-depth support. Find out more about tapping on her website.

Check out tapping circles

3) Choose Your Lane and Drive

We can’t do everything.

Trust me, I’ve tried.

Taking a stand for every single injustice in the world is a great way to burn out and give up.

Instead, I’ve chosen two lanes in which I’ve vowed to continually advocate: LGBTQ rights and the free movement of people, culture, and ideas across borders.

I chose these because 1) I have lived experience in both, and 2) I have studied both extensively, including while in law school.

Choosing Your Lane

This isn’t about “staying in your lane” and playing small, it’s about sharing your experience and knowledge with others and preventing burnout.

Don’t let the choices overwhelm you. Just pick something, anything really, to start.

Where do you have lived experience?

What subject have you studied and can speak on with confidence?

What is your special brand of activism?

Where is there a need in your community that you can fill?

Or even, what’s piquing your curiosity the most?

Let me know in the comments.

Leave a comment

Then It’s Time to Drive

Once you have your lane chosen, it’s time to go down it.

It can be hard to take action right now. There’s just too much that needs our help. For me, choosing one small thing to do a week was a great start. For you, your body, and your nervous system, it might be once a month or once a day.

Taking one small action is better than no action at all. And once you get on the road, it’s easier to keep going.

Here are some simple steps that I was able to take when I felt overwhelmed:

• 5Calls.org makes contacting your representatives easy and quick. I hate making calls to my congress person and yet I could do it with this app.

• I make a $20 recurring monthly donation to my local food bank. I’m underemployed right now so I couldn’t dedicate more, but that goes towards 200 meals, proving a little can go a long way. You can find more info at FeedingAmerica.org.

• I also a $5 recurring donation to my local NPR station and a $5 recurring donation to national NPR network to support accessible and trustworthy media. The number of donors they have helps them get funding from corporations, so every little bit helps.

What small step feels doable to you today?

What small steps have felt doable to you on days you were overwhelmed?

I’d love to hear your action steps and ideas in the comments.

Leave a comment

Do It Flawed, But Do It For All of Us

Advocating for others isn’t just altruistic – it’s a way we can support our own safety and growth.

By growing our understanding of varying human experiences, we are better able to understand and advocate for ourselves.

By standing up for oppressed communities, we are better able to see and fight our own oppressions.

By advocating for the safety and rights of all, we are better able to find safety and rights for ourselves.

I don’t want to be talking about ICE – or the rest of the hellish rights violations that are happening in the USA right now.

I am exhausted and tired of it.

And I’m sure so are you.

But by coming together, we can help each other find the strength, time, and energy to stand up for our neighbors and ourselves, and use our voice for good.

Because the world needs our stories now more than ever.

With love,

Lauren

P.S. If you’re looking for a nuanced way to talk to people in your life who might support ICE, Jenna Kutcher is writing some great pieces from the perspective of a Minnesotan right now. I especially love this one and think it’s worth sharing widely.

Jenna Kutcher

I'm Not Asking You To Take My Word For It

If you support ICE and can’t understand why anyone would protest, that makes sense. If they were only removing rapists and murderers, I’d be confused too…

Read more

2 months ago · 107 likes · 25 comments · Jenna Kutcher

Dear friend,

My first thought when I arrived at my place in Mexico City was, “I want to cry.”

My second thought was, “quiero esquites.”

As soon as I landed, the plan had been to run off to a “fiesta para las saficas, amigays y disidencias bienvenides” (I love that phrasing so much). My friend, Caro, was going to join me, and we were going to dance the night away, kicking off my trip with queer joy.

But then Caro got sick and my phone wouldn’t work, and I didn’t have it in me to go to a part of town I didn’t know, to a party I’d never attended, without access to my phone to help me get there and back.

So, I decided to meander the Coyoacán plaza eating esquites instead.

Which was totally the right decision. It’s smart, sensible, and realistic. It met me where I was, protected my safety, and still honored my trip’s beginning.

So then why did I feel like such a coward?

The Allure of Bravery

“You’re so brave,” is a phrase I hear frequently, and it’s often more of a commentary on society than me.

• You’re so brave to be out and proud.

• You’re so brave to wear a bikini on the beach.

• You’re so brave to travel alone as a woman.

All of those things take bravery not because of some valiant act on my part, but because we live in a society that is often unsafe for queer, fat, femme bodies. And I’m still white, middle class, relatively mobile, and cis and straight passing, with a U.S. passport, all of which allow me access to spaces and privileges that others don’t have.

I don’t want it to be an act of bravery to simply exist.

But the truth is, it takes a lot of guts to follow your joy in this world.

It’s scary as hell to pursue the people and things that you love.

Where do you find yourself being “brave”? How do you feel about that word? Let me know in the comments.

Leave a comment

At my core, I am a coward.

As a kid, I was afraid of everything from scary movies to playing sports to going to parties.

To be fair, all three of those things still scare the shit out of me.

Horror stories give me nightmares, the idea of competitive team sports makes me break out in hives, and if you see me at a party I might look calm, cool, and collected but I’m secretly freaking out inside rethinking everything I’ve said and wondering what the hell to do with my hands.

Every single day, there is something new to be afraid of, from the rise of the far-right, to the rapid growth of AI, to health issues, to facing my finances, to running my business, to dating cute queers.

But the thing that scares me the most is letting fear decide the shape of my life.

Do It Scared

Years ago, I realized that my fear of rejection was holding me back in my business. So, I created this sticker chart, where I rewarded myself each time I made one brave ask.

If you’ve been around here for a while, you know how much that sticker chart – which I now call 33 Asks® – changed my business and career. It took me to six-figures, got me a literary agent, and helped make my novel Because Fat Girl a success.

And you’ve probably heard me talk about how it changed my sex life and helped me stop being afraid of falling in love.

But I’m only truly beginning to understand how much of my life has been made better by treating resilience as a muscle I actively work.

There is Power in Saying No

Usually, I think of resilience as saying yes to something I believe in, pushing past a fear of rejection, and going for what I want in life.

But one of the most profound lessons I’ve learned from 33 Asks® is to embrace and celebrate the power of a no.

As someone who actively participates in BDSM, I love a good boundary. One of my biggest red flags – and a major turnoff – is a play partner who says they’re “down for anything.” Knowing our limits allows us to play within them, avoiding both harm and overwhelm.

It’s like when you’re trying to decide where to eat for dinner and no one has an opinion. The options are so limitless that you end up scrolling on your phone for hours looking for a place until everyone is so hangry and annoyed that you end up eating stale crackers in bed.

Through 33 Asks®, I’ve learned to detach from “yes” and “no” and instead make asking for what I want the win.

Not only has that helped me to connect with people from a place of abundance and openness, it’s also made it so I feel safer saying no in my own life.

Past Lauren might have thought it was brave to take a cab to a distant part of town to go dance in a bar full of strangers.

But current Lauren knows that her nervous system needs to feel safe, grounded, and well-rested right now.

In the past, the party would have been a hell yes.

That night, it was a hard no.

All versions of myself require me to ask what I truly want in each moment and to be brave enough to trust my answer.

Trust is the Bravest Act of All

The only way I can be so openly out and proud, comfortably wear a bikini on the beach, and travel the world by myself is that I’ve built years of trust — both in myself and in the world around me.

That night in the plaza, I had to trust that I was making the right decision for me at that moment.

• I had to trust my body to know its limitations.

• I had to trust that there would be another queer women’s party for me to attend at a better time.

• I had to trust the esquites wouldn’t give me food poisoning (fun fact: most of my Mexican friends won’t eat esquites from street vendors because of the potential for illness…).

And I had to trust that even if I made the wrong choice — if I never made it to a lesbian party in Mexico and got horrible food poisoning — I would still survive.

In the end, trusting myself was the right move.

My heart was happy seeing the square come alive at night.

The esquites were delicious.

And the next day, I woke up well rested and ready to write.

What brave act have you done lately?

I’d love to hear how you’re leaning into trusting yourself.

Let me know in the comments. I love hearing from you.

Leave a comment

Here’s to being bravely trusting ourselves.

With love,

Lauren

Sharing Is Caring

Here are some relevant resources that you might find helpful if you liked today’s letter:

• If you liked the sticker I posted, check out @cristinadelgado.art for more.

• Want to build up your resilience? Check out my free Creative Resilience Toolkit. Or better yet, sign up to learn my full 33 Asks® creative resilience framework. It truly is life-changing.

• As I walk the streets of Coyoacán, I’m listening to this playlist. Thought I’d share in case you want some music for your meanderings.

• I’m also listening to the Dungeon Crawler Carl series on audiobook and really loving it. If you’re a fan of video games and/or quirky sci-fi, I highly suggest it.

*Some of these links might be affiliate links, but I only share resources I love, regardless of affiliate status.

Recently, my book club read The Correspondent by Virginia Evans, a lovely story told entirely through letters and emails.

It got me thinking about how much I love writing you letters.

Since I was a kid, I’ve loved writing letters. I was that girl who passed notes in class and had pen pals around the world. So when I started my creative career, letters were central to how I connected with readers.

Through the years, I’ve tried many different forms of correspondence with you:

• MySpace blog,

• educational newsletter,

• Queerie Bradshaw sex blog,

• marketing sales funnel emails,

• Because Fat Girl Insider Squad physical mailers (you can still get them!),

• Facebook groups,

• LinkedIn updates,

• Instagram photos,

• and that one brief six-month period where I tried, and failed, to understand TikTok.

And every time I keep coming back to letters, from me to you, as friends.

As of January 14, 2026, there are 1,269 of you getting these Substack emails of mine. Historically, about half of you read them.

That’s … pulls up calculator because I’m horrible at math … 634 and a half people reading this right now.

Shout out to that half person. You know who you are.

I do not take your attention for granted.

I have in the past and I’m sorry for that. I’d send out mass emails with crap content because that’s what a class I took or conference I attended told me I had to do to make money.

And it turns out, I like money.

It pays my mortgage, allows me to support causes I love, and pays for my sensitive stomach to have the food it needs (have you seen the price of gluten-free bread?!).

But I don’t like money at the cost of my own values.

And I value quality over quantity. I value creativity and connection. I value you and the time you give me to read what I write.

If you’ve been here a while, you know I’ve taken a lot of twists and turns to try to find my footing on Substack.

• I wrote SEO-centric content to try to go viral on here.

• I launched Plot Twist, a collaborative novel we wrote together.

• I brought back Queerie Bradshaw, my queer kinky sex blog.

• Maybe you even remember that video podcast I did where I just talked to you about whatever topic I felt like from my sofa late at night (I blame the drugs I was on after surgery…).

None of it really took hold.

Every time I sit down to write, I just want to talk to you like a friend.

Which you are, to me.

I want to obsess with you over the things I’m loving right now (um hello, HEATED RIVALRY anyone?!).

I want to share that life is friggin’ hard and depression has had its hooks in me for months, but I’m also full of joy and love at the same time.

I want to talk to you about my dream to win an Oscar and the plans I have to get there.

And I want to ask you questions.

Like what are you obsessed with these days? How are you holding up? What’s bringing you joy right now? How are you still dreaming in the face of it all?

Seriously, though, I want to know. Let me know in the comments.

Leave a comment

None of us need more content these days—but we all could use more connection.

Which is why I’ve decided to focus my Substack on letters from me to you.

Yes, that means Plot Twist is going away. I am sorry to the three of you who read it each week and I promise to reach out to you individually to keep helping me write it going forward!

But the other 1200+ of you seem to enjoy it much more when I write you letters.

To be honest, so do I.

So let’s give the people (aka us) what they want.

More letters.

I’m excited to write you more intimate, honest, and hilarious (if my joke writing class pays off) letters here on my Substack.

And I hope you’ll write me back.

With love,

Lauren

P.S. Letters are more fun as a dialogue, so reply to this email or leave a comment and let me know what you are obsessed with these days and what’s bringing you joy in the face of all that’s happening in the world!

Leave a comment

P.P.S. Did you see that I have a voiceover of this post now?! You can listen to it above. Let me know if you like that format.

Sharing Is Caring

Here are some relevant resources that you might find helpful if you liked today’s letter:

• A newsletter is one of the most important ways a writer can build a following of loyal readers. Check out my Mailing List 101 Guide to find out how to start one.

• Want to build confidence, recover from rejection, and share your work with joy – all using a one-page sticker chart? Check out my 33 Asks® program.

• Sign up to get physical letters from me. Yes, like from the post office!

• Grab a copy of The Correspondent by Virginia Evans from an independent bookstore or on Kindle. It was a short but powerful read.

• Creating a values-aligned career isn’t always easy, but Laura Eigel’s book Values First: How Knowing Your Core Beliefs Can Get You the Life and Career You Want has helped me significantly over the years. Laura was a client of mine and we worked on this book together, along with the sequel Values First Teams. Both books shaped a lot of how I run School for Writers and my life in general and I highly recommend them for both business owners and corporate professionals.

*Some of these links might be affiliate links, but I only share resources I love, regardless of affiliate status.

I cannot stress enough how fun it is to make quirky and creative New Year’s resolutions.

Yes, the idea of resolutions is controversial, and yes, I’ve been known to post “Revolutions not resolutions!” on my Facebook feed in the past.

Then one year, I jokingly decided to make a funny resolution as protest, and everything shifted. Suddenly, resolutions went from something full of shame and scarcity to something full of joy and abundance.

Now, I love resolutions, and make them all year long.

These days, I have two rules for resolutions:

• Make them joyful and abundant.

• Make them any damn time you want.

You’re welcome to decide to add something joyful in your life (or take away something that is no longer giving you joy) any time you want!

But as astrologer Chani Nicholas recently put it so succinctly: “January 1 has a collective buy-in of regeneration.”

That social momentum can make it a powerful time to start a new project. But so is the start of the month, a full moon, a new moon, the solstice, the equinox, your birthday, or even a random Tuesday, if you give it enough meaning.

Need some ideas for a quirky and unique New Year project?

Here are a few fun projects I’ve done in the past. Feel free to use them as a starting point or steal the idea completely!

1) Make homemade gluten free donuts.

This was the one that started it all! At the time, I worked for a big personal development speaker. Everyone around me was making plans to lose weight, make more money, find a spouse, stop drinking alcohol.

They were fine for them, but felt too full of shame and scarcity for me.

So, I decided I was going to learn to make homemade gluten free and vegan donuts.

It felt full of joy and delight, but also met a lot of my sensitive stomach coworkers where they were at as well. A win-win!

I baked them at home and brought them to work for special occasions.

People taste tested and gave feedback. We decorated them together.

It was creative, communal, unique, and fun.

When I say this was a game changer, I mean it literally changed the game for me. Now, I wasn’t trying to “win” at societal expectations and instead was trying to add more delight to my life and the lives around me.

2) Meander More

The next year was during COVID quarantine, so I made the New Year’s resolution to get lost more.

I’d pick a random place and just see where my curiosity led me, then try to find my way back.

I explored places in San Diego I never would have seen had I not taken on this challenge.

I noticed the beauty around me and began feeling myself setting roots.

I saved a baby bunny from a hawk! (Any of you remember that?!)

But more than that, I began a practice I still do today of walking with the goal of noticing the world around me, not exercising. It’s something that’s still important for my mental health.

3) Explore the Art of Coffee Making (or Mocktails!)

The third year I did this, I decided, and I quote “this is the year I learn to drink coffee like a big kid.”

Making it “like a big kid” put the play and curiosity into it from the start. It allowed me to explore and see what I liked, rejecting what I didn’t like a kid might reject new food.

It led to an appreciation and understanding of various kinds of coffee products (even if it all still hurts my stomach) and a deep knowledge of the local cafe scene.

The next year, I resolved to learn to make it at home – and immediately found out I much prefer going to a café…

Last year, I decided to learn to make mocktails at home and that has been great fun as well!

All of this is to say:

LET 2026 BE FUN AND PLAYFUL!

Whether you’re making a formal resolution or simply just starting a new calendar year with the rest of us, I encourage you to add more joy and abundance to your life.

We’re all going through a lot.

Now is not the time to play it cool.

This is the time to lean into cringe.

Be awkward. Be flawed. Be bad at it. And do it anyways.

I’ll be right there with you, laughing and crying the whole time.

With love and joy,

Lauren

P.S. Want a fun and creative way to build resilience so you can make those resolutions stick? Check out my 33 Asks® program. It’s full of joy and abundance.

Build Resilience in 2026

In honor of the 10th anniversary of my book Bawdy Love: 10 Steps to Profoundly Loving Your Body, I’m sharing three blog posts I wrote years ago that still feel incredibly relevant — especially during a season when body shaming can hit hard.

Four Tips to Start Fighting Holiday Body Shaming Now
https://laurenmariefleming.com/four-tips-to-start-fighting-holiday-body-shaming-now/

Tips for Answering the Question “Are you sure you need that piece of pie?”
https://laurenmariefleming.com/tips-for-answering-the-question-are-you-sure-you-need-that-piece-of-pie/

This Holiday Season, Count Good Deeds Instead of Calories
https://laurenmariefleming.com/this-holiday-season-count-good-deeds-instead-of-calories/

Sending you care, compassion, and permission to fully enjoy your plate today. 💛

With love and so much gratitude to have you here in my life,

Lauren

P.S. The programs I reference in those older posts are no longer available, but you can still grab a copy of Bawdy Love if you want more support this holiday season — or any season. It’s as relevant now as it was a decade ago.