This Should Be a Marketing Email. It's Not.

Everything I've been taught about success says do more and push harder. I'm kind of over that. And I have a feeling you are too.

Dear friend,

This should be a marketing email.

This should be me begging you one last time to donate to the crowdfunding campaign for my queer short film, No Animals Harmed.

Everything I’ve been taught about how to make money (read: be successful) tells me that I should go-go-go, push-push-push, don’t stop until you’ve reached your goal – which always seems to get bigger and bigger, never actually attainable.

But I’m kind of over that shit.

And I have a feeling you are too.

I’ve been over it for a while, to be honest. And yet I pushed and pushed, went and went, and in the process I burned myself out rather spectacularly.

Even worse, in my ambitious exhaustion, I made a bad decision that hurt a friend.

I want to make this movie.

I need money to make this movie.

But I also need rest, community, joy, energy, artistry, friendship, resilience, health, technical skills, practice, and patience to make this movie.

Those aren’t things money can buy – despite what capitalism likes to make us think.

This – time to pause, reassess, get my feet wet, be in nature – is also an important part of the movie making process.

---

Seeking a Softer Form of Motivation

I love my drive and ambition. It helped me get out of my conservative hometown where I felt unsafe being queer. It pushed me through self-doubt and around gatekeepers. It got me to travel the world, meet new people, and have the kind of experiences worth writing about.

It got me through twenty years of rejections, thirteen different books, and four agents until I finally fulfilled the dream of seeing my book in airports and stores across the nation, and read around the world.

It taught me to make the best of a shit situation and never give up, no matter what.

But now, I’m wondering if there’s a softer form of motivation I could embrace.

Maybe it’s that midlife awakening all my friends in their 40s and 50s seem to be experiencing.

Maybe it’s the pivotal planetary alignment astrologers keep posting about.

Maybe it’s that the world feels like it is on fire so I might as well slow down and enjoy life whenever I can, for as long as I can.

Whatever the reason, for about a year now, there’s been a version of myself calling to me from the future, encouraging me to slow down.

Be present.

Don’t push so hard.

Trust the unfolding of life on its own time.

I listened to it last year – and damn did that feel amazing.

Then I ignored it again – and damn did that lead me to some rough places full of misaligned choices and shot nerves.

So, I’m listening again.

I’m slowing down.

I’m asking what I really want.

I’m trying to trust that everything will work out.

Or it won’t.

All I can do is be present and grateful in this moment.

It’s a lesson I’ve had to learn over and over again. One I will probably keep having to learn until the day I die.

If it’s one you’re also learning right now, friend, I just want to remind you that you’re not alone. We’re all flawed and tender humans living in a fast-paced capitalist-centered world.

We are allowed to rush forward with excitement and glee, and we are allowed to stop and catch our breaths. Both are important parts of living a boldly creative life.

Wherever you are, whatever energy you’re feeling or not feeling, I hope you can meet yourself where you are with compassion, grace, and acceptance. That’s what I’m trying to do.

Some days, I even succeed at it.

And I hope you do too.

Because the world needs our stories, now more than ever.

With love,

Lauren

P.S. If you have the capacity, I’d love your help in funding my queer short film, No Animals Harmed. The crowdfunding campaign ends in less than 36 hours, and we’re almost to our goal. Can you help us reach it?