The world's on fire, let's get kinkier. ⛓️💥
Reviving my famous Queerie Bradshaw blog for the summer to share my adventures and advice on love and lust. Cuz being super gay and super freaky is a radical act in the face of fascism and oppression.
A femme friend of mine recently got on Grindr to have lesbian sex with bisexual men.
Yes, you read that right.
When I asked her what inspired that, her response was, “the world is terrible, I’m gonna be horny about it.”
And suddenly it all made sense.
Why I’ve been craving ropes, whips, crops, and everything kinky.
Why I swapped out scrolling Instagram with swiping on dating apps.
Why I went from “I need to promote my new queer romcom” to “I need to promote pleasure amidst pain.”
I’ve been looking around my queer and trans communities, and talking with kinky friends, and I’ve found a rising insatiable appetite for pleasure amidst all of our pain. Apparently fascism makes us horny.
More accurately, being super queer, kinky, sexy, and centering pleasure in our lives is a radical act at any time, but especially so when we are grieving, oppressed, and dealing with catastrophe. And so we crave it.
When we are so intensely in pain, we long for pleasure like a fish out of water longs to swim again. I want to live freely, going where I please, able to simply breathe without worrying about who might deem me and my friends illegal, locking us up without cause.
Being super queer, kinky, sexy, and centering pleasure in our lives is a radical act.
Prioritizing queer, trans, kinky, fat, neurodiverse joy helps me tap into my community’s long lineage of thriving in the face of what felt like insurmountable odds. It makes me feel like I can – and do – make a difference in a world that’s constantly overwhelming us with new fires to put out.
I can’t single-handedly stop the rolling back of LGBTQ rights. But I can practice my single-tailed whip skills.
I can’t march every single day protesting ICE’s unconstitutional detaining of immigrants without warrants or due process. But I can have an orgasm every evening before bed.
I can’t hug every single human who is scared for their life and freedom under our new administration. But I can make sure the bottoms who submit to me feel cared for, appreciated, and adored.
I can’t stop Ozempic and RFK from amping up fatphobia. But I can look sexy AF all summer long as a fat, queer, non-binary femme.
By prioritizing pleasure, joy, and ecstasy in our lives, we’re tapping into the core of our humanity and reminding our bodies and minds that we deserve to live joyful existences.
It is our legacy – as humans, but especially as queer and trans people. Pride was a riot for the right to experience pleasure openly and honestly. It wasn’t just about our sexuality, it was about our outfits, our communal spaces, our legacies.
This summer, in honor of the generations of queers before me, I’m embracing pleasure in all forms, and sharing my advice and adventures by bringing back my popular Queerie Bradshaw blog.
I’ll be writing about my kinky, queer life experiences and offering advice, insights, and inspiration for you to embrace your own version of a pleasure as well.
The world’s on fire, let’s get kinkier. 🪢
This week, I encourage you to honor generations of queer joy in three ways:
1. Listen to Lucille Bogan.
A classic blues singer from the 1920’s, she crooned about B.D. (bulldyke) women who “didn’t need no man,” and embraced a sexuality in her lyrics that still have an Explicit Advisory warning on them.
You can find her albums on Spotify, and Shave ‘Em Dry is my favorite.
2. Read the Thrill of the Chase (and Because Fat Girl too).
Kathryn Nolan is an author whose work has been described as “horny and hopeful.” Their most recent sapphic novel is called The Thrill of the Chase and I absolutely adored it.
This book is its own tiny revolution, a thrilling treasure hunt full of mystery, history, and heart pumping romance. As I read through it, I felt deeply connected to generations of queer people all finding a way to support each other.
The Thrill of the Chase reminded me that we’ve been here through worse. We’ll make it through this. And love – and hot sex under sticky summer nights – will get us through it again.
Go grab a copy of Thrill of the Chase today and read it with a sense of adventure and one hand down your pants. (And you should grab a copy of my novel Because Fat Girl as well, while you’re at it.)
3. Share your pleasure and joy with others.
Take a moment right now to share what is bringing you pleasure and joy right now. I’d love if you shared a comment below, so we can all see and celebrate you.
I’m excited to hear what you write.
With love, pleasure, and joy,
Lauren
P.S. If you don’t want to get sexy, kinky, erotic, romantic, and pleasurable updates this summer, scroll on over the the “update your preferences” link and click off “Queerie Bradshaw”.
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