When 'You Have So Much Potential' Becomes Your Biggest Obstacle
In high school, I was told I had potential to make it in the arts. That encouragement became so overwhelming it nearly stopped me from pursuing my dreams. Sound familiar?
One of the things I see happen all the time is somebody says they're unable to start a project or unable to think about their future or unable to think about their creative project or the life they want to live because they've been told they have so much potential.
A book idea will have so much potential that it can feel impossible to start writing it.
A book itself will have so much potential when it debuts that it can be overwhelming (like I learned with mine).
Potential is great in theory. In practice, it can easily become a weight so heavy we can’t move.
I see this all the time with first drafts. You will write out your idea and you'll get about a third of the way through a book, and then suddenly you start thinking about the New York Times bestseller list and can’t write any more.
Sound familiar?
This was absolutely my problem. I held myself back for so many years because I worried if publishing would buy my book. For many years, they didn’t buy books like mine. Which meant that for too many years I let homophobia, fatphobia, and overall gatekeeping stop me from telling my story.
I started my company School For Writers® to make sure that didn’t happen to others as well.
Write to Tell, Not to Sell
Here's the thing: You have to write to tell, not to sell.
Yes, in my Write Your Friggin' Book Already® program, I’ll help you figure out the best path to publish for your book. We will absolutely talk about marketing and the entrepreneurial part of selling a book, because it’s important!
But if you think of that stuff way too soon – if you put the potential of money, publicity, publishing and bestsellers lists and movie deals and all of that stuff onto your book from the start – you'll never be able to finish it.
How 'You Have So Much Potential' Became My Biggest Obstacle
In high school, I was told that I had a lot of potential to make it in the arts. I was outgoing, enthusiastic, and had just enough talent that I stood out among my peers.
I sucked at math and almost flunked because of my low scores in P.E., but I excelled in the humanities and shined on stage after school at the community theater.
Encouraged by a mentor who had studied the arts, I decided to get a degree in cinema at one of the top schools in the nation for movie making. I was going to make films in Hollywood! I had the potential!
And then I got there, and the reality of actually making films became so overwhelming. I’d been told I had potential, but hadn’t been warned of the realities of trying to make it in Hollywood – especially as a queer, fat, femme.
Well meaning professors warned me that I would never be able to make it as a fat lesbian in Hollywood. I didn’t have potential to be a film director because of that. But I did have potential as a writer – and the publishing industry doesn’t care about your looks – so I should be a novelist instead.
For better or for worse, I let others determine my potential. And their opinions stopped me from actually taking action towards my dreams.
Potential Without Action is Pointless
If you’ve read my novel, Because Fat Girl, you’ll recognize this story – I turned my pain into prose and eventually started back up making movies again.
It wasn’t my potential that got Because Fat Girl into airports and bookstores around the USA, read by tens of thousands of people around the globe, with talks of a movie deal happening.
Potential had nothing to do with that.
Action did.
Potential can only get you so far. Potential without action is pointless.
You could talk about the possibilities of your book’s success. Or you could Write Your Friggin’ Book Already®.
You could wax poetically about the potential of your book. Or you could Write Your Friggin’ Book Already®.
You could spend years learning about craft and publishing and marketing. Or you could Write Your Friggin’ Book Already®.
Don’t get me wrong, I love dreaming big for ourselves and our books. I’m always here for holding that grander vision of life. But I’m also going to be the first to tell you that the answer is to “sit your ass down and do the damn thing!”
Which is why in my Write Your Friggin’ Book Already® program, we talk so much about the importance of actually doing the damn thing. Here are some of the ways we help you sit your butt in the chair and do the work:
Twice weekly writing sessions
Monthly coaching calls
Cheerleading text messages
Friendly competitions
Built-in rewards
Ongoing coaching
Lifetime membership
Accountability, camaraderie, and tangible support is going to get you so much farther than just potential.
4 Steps to Overcome Potential Paralysis
If you're feeling stuck because of the weight of your own potential, here's a process to help you move forward that I use with myself and my clients:
Step 1: Write About Where You've Been Told You Have Potential
Make a list of all the times people have told you that you have potential. Then add on where you've been told you didn't have potential - those limitations people put on you.
For example, I was told I had potential as a writer but that I'd never make it as a director because of who I am. Both messages shaped how I saw myself and what I thought was possible.
Step 2: Examine How That Potential Feels
Look at your list and ask yourself: Does the potential feel overwhelming? Do you have so many options that it all feels paralyzing? Or does the potential energize and cheer you on?
Do the naysayers feel like they're right or wrong? Are you doing things in spite of them, or have their voices become your inner critic?
Step 3: Identify What You're Holding Back On
Ask yourself what dreams you're not pursuing because of potential or because of naysayers. Do you want to write a book? Make a movie? Take an art class? Learn pottery? Understand physics?
Look at that list and identify where you're holding back because the potential feels too big, or where you're holding back because someone told you that you couldn't.
Step 4: Take One Tiny Step
What is one small action you can take toward your dream?
If you want to write a book, book a call with me to see if Write Your Friggin' Book Already® is right for you.
If you want to make a movie, take an online Introduction to Film class.
If you want to learn about astronomy, visit your local science museum.
The key is taking action, not perfect action. One tiny step toward your potential is infinitely better than staying paralyzed by the weight of possibility.
Everyone Has Potential - But Action Makes It Real
Everybody has potential. Every single human, every single person, every single book, every single story, every single idea has potential.
But it's action that actually makes it happen. It's purpose that keeps you going. And it's community that makes sure you don't feel lonely or lost along the way.
So let go of the “grand potential” of your creative ideas and embrace small, simple action steps that get you towards your bigger life goals.
Because the world needs your story now more than ever.™
Lauren
P.S. Ready to turn your potential into action and Write Your Friggin’ Book Already®? Book a free 15-minute call with me to talk about whether WYFBA is right for you, or enroll today and let's turn that potential into a published book.
ENROLLMENT FOR THE FALL 2025 COHORT ENDS AUGUST 22. So take action and book a call today to see if WYFBA is right for you.