Will This Help Me Win an Oscar Surrounded by People I Love?

Why I replaced my old goal with a bold new question.

Dear friend,

Have you ever achieved a goal only to have it feel anticlimactic?

Crossing the finish line of a marathon – then having to hobble to your car.

Starting an exciting new job – then sitting in the chair on that first day thinking “what now?”

Doing a deep clean on your kitchen – then realizing it’s dinner time and you’re about to mess it all up again.

Having a goal gives us focus, purpose, and direction in life – so we can often feel let down, unmoored, or even depressed when that goal is achieved.

Have you ever felt that? Are you experiencing it now? Let me know in the comments.

Last week, I shared the six-step process I use to reset my life and align it to my bigger creative goals. This week, I want to show you that plan in action in my own life over the last year.

How I Reset My Entire Life Every Two Years

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In late 2024, my lifelong dream came true.

After 20+ years as a professional writer, 4 different literary agents, and 7 years working on this particular book, my debut novel Because Fat Girl was finally out in the world.

And it was everywhere.

It never gets old seeing my book everywhere and selling out stacks at events. This is from the Columbus Book Fair.

Big box stores and independent ones. Airports and libraries.

For months, not a day went by without someone sending me a picture they’d snapped of my book out in the wild.

It was surreal!

The process left me feeling two things: immense gratitude and an intense unmooring (you can read all about that here).

Still surreal!

In 2025, I sat in the arrival.

I spent over two decades trying to get to the top of the “traditionally published author” mountain, and now that I’d arrived, I wanted to sit and bask in the view.

So, for a year, I did just that.

I arrived.

I sat in it.

I enjoyed the view.

I invested in my personal life.

• I went to Mexico City (twice),

• I took rope classes,

• I worked on my fear of falling in love,

• I started dating someone new,

• I bought myself flowers,

• I got a TV comedy writing certificate from UCLA,

• I started exploring film again,

• I stopped dating that someone new,

• I took long walks,

• I napped in the park with Albee.

For a year, I meandered through life without a set goal – a rarity for my achievement-oriented self.

For a year, I let myself feel what it was like to just be – to let my existing accomplishments be enough.

For a year, I sat in the uncomfortable reality that I had nothing left to prove – and maybe never had anything to prove in the first place.

Nobody teaches me presence quite like my dog, Albee.

Reorienting myself.

For over a decade, my personal and professional life was guided by a rather singular goal, and every decision I made was run through a question aligned with that goal:

Will this help me get a traditional publishing book deal and make the book a massive hit when it comes out?

With this goal in mind and question in hand, I was able to filter jobs, clients, even lovers.

It felt like a superpower, having that decision-maker in my head. While other people wandered around aimlessly in life, I knew exactly where I was headed.

Until suddenly, I reached the summit.

My journey was complete.

I’d done the damn thing.

Now what the hell was I supposed to do with my life?

Suddenly I went from a gal on a mission to a woman unmoored, floating aimlessly in the sea of possibility with no destination in sight.

I’d lost my North Star.

It took me a whole year – and a crap ton of stickers – to find it again.

And I love what I found.

This is up on the door between my office and living room, and I look at it daily.

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New Dreams, New Filter Question

After a year of celebrating and soul searching, I found myself asking a new question over and over again when I thought about what was next for my life

Will this get me closer to winning an Oscar surrounded by people I love?

If you’ve read my memoir-pretending-to-be-fiction novel Because Fat Girl, you probably know how much winning an Oscar means to me. It’s not about the ego and the prestige – although there’s that for sure – as much as what winning an Oscar means.

Who do I have to be to step out onto the stage again?

To win an Oscar, I must fully embrace and fill my life with:

• Multimedia storytelling

• Collaborative artistic processes

• Creating stories that are at once culturally relevant, artistically inspiring, and commercially appealing

To do it surrounded by people I love, I must:

• Make space for love of all kinds in my life

• Release the American ideal of hyper independence

• Embrace the vulnerability of letting people into the process with me

This isn’t about the Oscars; it’s about the person I have to be and the life I have to live to aim for that goal.

It’s about where I put my time, money, and energy.

It’s about what creative projects I say no to and which ones I take on.

It’s about becoming the kind of person who can proudly declare to the world:

I want to win an Oscar, I’m going to work hard to make that happen, and I want to do it surrounded by people I love – do you want to come along for the ride?

No really – do you want to come along for the ride?

Let me know in the comments.

I find that life is so much more fun when I share it, so I plan to document the whole process here on Substack with you. Be sure to subscribe to join in the fun.

Because the world needs our stories now more than ever.

Cannot wait to see you on the red carpet,

Lauren