Dear friend,
When I took myself through my Creative Life Blueprint ritual (you can read all about it and take yourself through it for free here) one question emerged that has become my North Star:
Will this help me win an Oscar surrounded by people I love?
The layers of that question, I talk about here.
It’s more nuanced than you’d think.
It’s not just about the golden statue – although I’d love that! – but about the person I have to become, the life I have to embrace, and the art I have to make to win an Oscar and walk the red carpet with people I love.
I’ve been pretty great in the past with the whole chasing the dream against all odds thing. It took me twenty years, but I saw my book in airports across the nation. I know how to hustle and work hard in my career.
But I haven’t been great at letting romance, love, and intimacy into my life while doing it.
So, I’ve decided to put myself out there.
And it’s scary! But it’s less scary with you here along for the ride.
In this week’s Come With Me video, I decompress after a night of queer speed dating and share the realization that stopped me mid-conversation with a stranger:
I’ve been trying to get to the New York Times bestseller list before I’ve even written the first chapter.
I tell my story coaching clients this all the time: you can’t jump to the ending.
You have to write the book before you can make it a bestseller.
And I realized I was doing this in my dating life.
If someone wasn’t a marriage match from the start, I wouldn’t give them a chance. Which was hilarious because until recently, I wasn’t even interested in marriage.
What I called “high standards” was often walls put up to protect me from having to be intimate and vulnerable with people.
So I’m changing my question.
Instead of is this my person?
I’m asking: would I want to go sit down for an hour over tea with this person and have a conversation?
That one small shift changed everything about how speed dating felt.
And how did the event go?
Well you’ll have to watch the full video to find out!
I hope it inspires you to go out there, do something vulnerable, and take it one step at a time.
With love and creativity,
Lauren
P.S. Did you know I used to run a popular queer sex and relationships blog called Queerie Bradshaw? I revised it last summer here on Substack and will be posting more as I get back out there again.
If you want those posts, great! You don’t have to do anything.
But if you prefer to only hear about writing and creativity (or you’re my mom…), you can scroll down in your emails, click “unsubscribe” and you’ll be taken to a page that will let you opt-out of Queerie Bradshaw posts.
Because consent is sexy, even in emails.
